On advising pastors counseling husband and wife, C.J. Mahaney reminds pastors to lead wives to be submissive to their husbands:
“The Christian wife who seeks to honor God in her marriage will be sobered, inspired, and equipped by a clear grasp of Ephesians 5:22-24.
This passage teaches that the respective roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and His church. Marriage is intended to be a reflection of the divine order in that submission by the wife in marriage reflects the submission of the church to Christ. Help her to see that in neither case is the submission mutual. Christ does not submit to the church, but vice versa, and likewise the husband does not submit to the wife. These roles are not open to redefinition, reinterpretation, or adjustment. Any change represents a deviation from divine purpose, rendering a marriage no longer reflective of the relationship between Christ and the church. Let the wife who loves God and His Word take heart that, in submitting to her husband, she is portraying to the world a reflection of a divine, eternal reality.”
(“Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood” copyright 2002 by Wayne Grudem and Dennis Rainey, pp. 204-205, published by Crossway Books)