Its either she took a gayuma (love potion) or indulge in a chick flick marathon, that why you get this strange feeling when she talks or treats you differently. May be the latter, but seriously there are cases in which a guy gets into this dilemma: the girl likes the boy. But just one big problem, he doesn’t like her. Then as days goes by, you can see the signs: girl doing things for boy, girl wants to be with the boy, girl initiate conversations or things to do, girl gives boy gifts, girl always mentions boy etc. so I think you got the point.
There are many reasons why girls do these things to boys. I’m not in the position to speak for the opposite sex but I think (and I could be wrong here) sometimes they do it because, for one they are really going crazy for this guy or their age (getting old). However, those behaviors should not justify what they are experiencing. Both girls and boys are in the same boat. If it’s hard for them to wait for someone then it’s hard for our part to look for someone. To tell you honestly, it’s more difficult to find a partner for life being a follower of Christ than those who are unbelievers. But no matter how difficult it is, it’s the right and godly thing to do.
Now before I end this article let us consider the following advices I have for both girls and boys. I’m not authoritative on these things (for one I had major flaws on these) but please find this as an advice from an older brother.
For our sisters in Christ with these tendencies let me give you four things to consider:
- It turns us off. Really it’s a minus for you! Boys are the ones who should pursue you (and I think that is biblical).
- It teaches us to be passive. Girl wants to be on top. Girls doing boys should be doing. Giving gifts. Doing for favors. We guys tend to get passive as we see girls doing stuff for us. Now we find it nice but sometimes if it goes out of hand, trying to impress us you’ll end up a slave.
- It opens us to abuse you. This is the extend of teaching us to be passive. By now we know that you can do this or that for us and we know that you like us.
- It feeds our ego. A girl doing things for the sake that they like us feeds our old nature (the macho image).
Now guys I won’t let you off the hook. Consider the following as you deal with girls who are head over heels for you:
- Go straight to the point. Tell her the truth. It may be painful but at least it will save both of you more heartache. That’s the most manly thing to do.
- Keep distance. If she still insists, then better stay away from her. If both of you are in the same ministry, don’t come or leave church together.
- Treat her as a sister in Christ. Remember she is also a sinner brought by the blood of Christ like you, not a piece of meat. So treat her like what Christ does for His redeemed ones.
- Introduce her to your other Christian friends. Not that you’re helping her to find Mr. Right but for her to know other fellow believers and widen her circle of friends.
- Pray for her. Tell her you’ll be praying for her for the right person God will give to her.
Again, whether you’re a boy or a girl keep yourself blameless before man and God. Learn to walk the talk. In the end, treating each other in a manner God calls us to matters most eternally.
(image copyright by Cedric)